It is easy to lose our cool when we are with people who all have different ideas, needs, wants and viewpoints. We can easily get angry and want to escape. Sometimes escaping is a wise idea. If the people in the group are toxic with ideas from the Ice Age, it could be a grand idea to move away from the fire. Why put yourself in agony when you don't need to?
But, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we must be with others that are pulling and pushing in all different directions. How to cope? When we feel angry or disappointed that things are not going our way, it is a good idea to pause and breathe and re-think our motives. If we are upset, it is because we are choosing to be upset. We are choosing to see something from only our point of view. This might be a perfect time for learning lessons. When there is a glitch in the system, it will eventually come to the surface to be looked at and either fixed or discarded.
When you find yourself in a situation that brings your blood to a boil because of numerous people in a hot pot of conflicting desires and views, pretend for a moment that there is no one outside of yourself. Your feelings of discomfort are coming to the surface for you to learn something about yourself. Introspection can be a very difficult thing to do. Most people are not self-aware. Most people do not want to improve themselves. Most people are not capable of admitting that they have shortcomings or places within that could be brought to the light for insightful self-study.
But, if you are willing to expand, then pretend that your feelings are not actually caused by another. Own your own feelings. If you are a planner and organizer, for example, and your group cannot participate and interact to come to any consensus, then you might find yourself feeling quite upset. Take that feeling inward; take it home to yourself. Realize that your feelings are your own and they are a reaction to something that is outside of yourself. There will always be situations that do not go as you planned. There will always be someone that has another direction to go that might be completely opposite of your intended harmony. Relax. This is normal. There is no need to fret. There is a great lesson to learn here. It is the lesson of allowing something to be as it is without trying to change it. There are times when we cannot influence another for our own purposes. We have to just see that something we planned or desired is not being met by others. If we resist the fact that everyone has their own agenda then we can cause ourselves much harm. If we expect to get another to yield to our ideas then we can be creating much unnecessary pain for ourselves.
As we pause to take a breath, we can see that in the bigger scheme of things, the issue at hand is really not that big of a deal. But, the grand lesson that is presented by the problem is a big gift. This discomfort becomes an opportunity for great growth: we get to let go of being in control and having things go our own way. Hallelujah! What a great lesson to learn. When we are dealing with others, going with the flow can be quite a necessary step to harmony.
True, sometimes we may need to step forward and pave the way. But there is wisdom in knowing when to step forward and when to allow other people's steps to walk where they may. If we come from a place of Intending Harmony for All, then we can use our wisdom instead of our egos that might be used to performing in certain patterns that may no longer work.
When we don't expect anything from others, but expect from ourselves to give what is loving, then how can we lose? When we come from a place of respecting another and allowing them to have different desires than we do, then we are on our way to a more harmonious lifestyle. We free ourselves by allowing another to be free.
This allows us to not have to constantly try to change another to suit our own selves. This does not mean we ignore our feelings and compromise our morals and ethics, it just means we let go of the need to be right and to be in control of another or a situation. We allow the flow of the energy to have its own voice. We don't fight the current, but learn to go with the flow. We intend for harmony for all and get out of the way. Intending is strong. We don't have to push the river. It has it's own integrity. There is a Divine Flow to a moment. We don't have to create what that is at every turn. We can live by allowing the flow to take us where we need to go. We can Trust that if others have another idea or plan, we can join their boat, wait for a moment for them to join ours, or get another boat to accommodate another wind pattern.
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