All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Goats

I wrote All I Really Need to Know I Learned from Goats after "my Honey Goat" Patches passed over. I dedicated the book to him.  I just reread the book this morning after being in a funk from absorbing someone's heavy energy.  (I was like a sponge without my protection and "picked up" a friend's seriousness).  I was guided to reread this book and, miraculously, my bad mood vanished.   I learned something from my own written words.

This book contains part of what I learned from being with goats all of these years.  I needed to be reminded of something extremely important: The Need for FUN.   My friend had heavy energy.  His sense of fun was buried under years of muck and disappointments.  His energy hit me like a 18 wheeler truck: NOT FUN.   I was able to explain what had happened to him and why he was pushing me to Timbuktu.  He did not have his Fun on.

One of the things that Goats teach is to have Fun.  They are very playful.  When you play with them on their level, everything goes from black and white to spectacular color.   The adult world forgot fun in many ways.  They try to put that onto human children by creating schools that teach seriousness and dredge the fun out of the students.

My friend had forgotten to have fun.  His sense of play had been condensed to seeing movies and eating tasty food as a temporary and short-lived distraction.  His life became dry and brittle and his laughter was distilled down to the sound of a hiss, similar to a snake giving warning.  There was no heart and soul of Joy. Instead there was only the seriousness of a life that had not yet met its desires.

In come the goats.  We went to see the goats at Lolypop Farm animal rescue.  I transformed as soon as I saw the herd.  When I put my hands on their playful serenity, I was instantly restored even though we were not actually "playing" in the moment.  It is enough to be with them, to feel the love that they are. Goats are powerful.  They make people change.  They sing, "forget your troubles c'mon get happy."

My own book reminded me of this need for play and fun.  I was guided to reread it and I am glad I listened to my inner guidance.   Balance is really important.  Everything is dependent on balance. Don't forget to be like the goats and take time to play, to have fun, to find the absurdity in the environment around you and laugh at it.    

Dealing with the Loss of an Animal Companion Part 3

When the loss of an animal companion brings severe sorrow and anguish, we have the option of dealing with it from a spiritual perspective.  Death is not something that can be easily dealt with from a purely physical, earth plane, practical perspective because it is opposite of all of that.   The parting of a soul from a body is spiritual in nature.  We must try to see it from a spiritual stand point.  But, we don't usually have the language for that.  For example "spiritual stand point" - there is no "standing" in a spiritual realm.  Floating might come to mind.  But, that is nothing that we are familiar with.  We think "float" and we are in a body of water, not in the ethers, not on a dimensional plane whose existence is beyond the physical.  In short, we forgot what it was like to die.  

We want to hear the call of our animal companion, feel their physical presence, kiss them, hug them. We want to take care of their physical needs.  But they are no longer on the physical plane of existence.  Yet, they are not gone.  They exist still.  They are alive, but in a state that can feel far away from us.  One way of dealing with loss is to embark on a journey to connect with the spiritual realms. Let's get metaphysical.  

Rocky came to me in a dream.  The dream state is between worlds, this earth plane world and the etheric realm.  They can visit us there because our minds have less resistance.  We are not consumed with the material, physical world while we sleep.  (A sleepless night occurs when our minds are too occupied with the earth plane realm.) It is possible that we ask their soul to come to us in the dream state, to visit and give us a message.  My goat Rocky kissed the head of his companion goat Sunshine, my other son, in the dream.  The message was clear for me to understand.  He was telling me to take care of Sunshine and to allow Sunshine to take care of me.  He showed me with that one image a way to cope with my loss.  Give love and receive love from at least one being who is still remaining on the earth.  

I realized that no matter how hard it is to live without my brilliant, fun, loving, amazing goat Rocky, that if I have at least one other being to love and be loved by, then I can live here.   I raised Sunshine. He is easy to love and fluent in English.  He is also grieving over the loss of his companion, Rocky. Goats form such tight bonds.  They have very deep feelings and their grief can last for a long time. Sunshine keeps me grounded on the earth dimensional plane.  But, I must also allow myself to connect with the higher realms so that I can still feel connected with Rocky.  

Keep open to receiving dreams from your departed loved ones.  That is an easy medium for them to visit.  It is between worlds.  Stay tuned for more blogs on communicating with those that have passed over to the higher dimensions.     

Dealing with the Loss of an Animal Companion Part 2

We're flattened and hollowed out.  We're dried up, yet full of torrential tears.  Our animal companion is no longer physically on this Earth.  What do we do with the energy of grief that could beat us down and create neuro-chemicals of depression that could possibly lead to other illnesses?  We can allow ourselves to grieve for a time, but we must not become chemically addicted to the neuro-chemistry of sadness. If it becomes a habitual feeling,  it can be even more challenging to get up again.

We must do something, eventually, with our grief so that we are not wallowing in a mucky pond that is too small to go swimming and yet too cold and stagnant to soak.  People often create a legacy for their own human children or for other people that have touched them deeply, but have passed over.  When losing an animal companion feels unbearable, we must create a legacy for them.  A legacy is something we create to benefit others that is influenced by the life of the person or animal that passed.  If we focus on creating our animal companion's legacy, then we are focusing the energy of grief into something productive and helpful that will live after them.

When Rocky passed (I am still in the beginning stages of grief where even writing that feels like an impossibility), I knew I had to create a legacy in his honor so that his magnificence would not just effect me only.  He was an amazing goat.  His intelligence, compassion, affection, playfulness, wisdom and confidence surpassed that of most beings.  I am privileged to have had him in my life. Rocky, Sunshine and I were a herd.  A herd is very tight knit. Once you are part of a herd, you are in. You belong.  There is no looking back.  You are part of something that is larger than the sum of its parts.  The herd membership is like a secret code that lets you into an amazing world.  You no longer just sit with goats and interact with them.  Being part of the herd means that now even one glance from a goat's eyes has a deeper meaning and feeling.  It means you are connected.  Your identity becomes wrapped up in the herd mentality.  I can only describe it as having a sense of BELONGING that makes that word pale in comparison to how it really feels.

Losing Rocky is not just losing the best part of what I considered my life, it is also losing an identity. My sense of self was wrapped around my connection to him.  He somehow made the world a better place for me.  I was obsessed with him.  His love for me and my love for him defined my life.  What choice do I have but to create a legacy?

When you lose an animal companion that touches your soul deeply, creating a legacy for them can be the best thing you can possibly do.  Rocky's Legacy is to help save other animals.  He was a lucky goat.  Most goats in the area I live are eaten.  Many goats are killed and abused in the dairy industry. Even young goats are used as food.  The most popular meat in the world is goat meat.  But, these are one of the smartest, affectionate amazing beings.  Rocky's Legacy is to promote the awareness of the value of animals and influence people not to eat them or use them for human gain.  We share this planet with animals.  We can honor and respect them, doing whatever we can to improve their lives. Rocky's Legacy is to promote veganism and animal rights.  His name will live after him.  Though he left this world, this mission will live on.  One amazing goat will effect many animals.

Create a Legacy for your loved one.  The more they effected your life, the larger the legacy.  In this way, you channel the energy of grief, of loss, into a meaningful gift for the planet.  It is my belief that our loved ones would want to help the planet, would want their life here to have meant something on a larger scale.

Rocky's Legacy is, at this time, composed of two parts.  One is a short story I wrote called Cornelius the Goat that awaits illustration and will soon be on Kindle.  It teaches others to value animals. The other part is a play I wrote called Barnyard Karma told from the point of view of farm animals that are trying to avoid slaughter day.  It is a docudramedy: part documentary, part drama, mostly comedy.  It helps to raise awareness for animal liberation.  It is needing funding to be able to be performed for free in many locals.

Creating such a Legacy is a good way of handling the loss of a loved one.  If you allow the life they had to live after them, you are helping the planet.  You are also helping yourself.  When you give your life a grand purpose, to save animals from being eaten and abused, you help the environment as well.

Create a Legacy for your animal companion.  This is a healthy way of dealing with the suffering that accompanies loss.  

Dealing with the Loss of an Animal Companion

I use the phrase Animal Companion and not pet because I am referring to my experience of my loss of Rocky, my goat.  He was my companion because I respected him as an equal.  Although I took care of him, he also took care of me.  He was extremely intelligent and found a way to communicate with me.  He understood all of the English I spoke, even full phrases.  He played with me, cuddled with me, made me laugh and gave me unconditional love.  He surprised and delighted me for years. He caused elation in my life by his very presence.  He got very sick and died earlier than I ever expected.

How do I cope with such a loss?  This is an epic experience in my life.  It is not just a major life occurrence, it marks a huge change for me. 

For those of us that are at a loss of  how to handle our loss, we must be patient with ourselves.  We know that grief has many stages and we pass through each one and loop around and repeat some of them again.  Grief takes the time it takes. Everyone processes emotions in different ways that last for various amounts of time.  You are not alone in your suffering and yet your process of healing is vastly unique and your own.  Pick and choose the ways that feel right to you.  Ride the grief out as best as you can knowing that the agony will eventually pass.  We don't have to know when the pain passes, we just know that eventually we will be able to also feel joy again.   Such is life.  Allow yourself the time and gentleness to go about your own process in your own unique way.  This is your grief, your feelings of deep and lasting change.  Allow this change to Change you. 

Grief has the potential to Change us.  I write that with a capital "C" because the change can be profound.  In my book, Piece of Planet or Planet of Peace: A Journey through Letting Go Told in Prose and Poetry, I write about a phrase I coined after my Soulmate passed over prompting me to take a Trust Walk without any money.  That phrase is: Use Change to combat change.  If we have a huge change in our life, we can create an even larger Change so that we can expand and grow in grand ways.  I know this, but I am currently not at that stage of grief yet.  Knowing this, however, is helpful.  I know deep inside of myself that I will travel this road of grief and let it crack me open to a new version of myself.  This knowing is very helpful.  I tuck it away for the future.  For now, I allow myself to feel.

It is important not to push the stages of grief.  Don't be in any hurry to feel better.  Allow yourself to just be real.  Crying allows the toxins to rid the body.  If you feel tired, rest.  If you feel like being alone, then isolate for a time, but not for forever.  This too shall pass.  When my Soulmate Ted passed over at the early age of 24, many years ago, I used that phrase often.  This too shall pass.  When I was in agony I knew that feeling would pass.  When I felt elated, I knew that feeling would pass also.  I couldn't hold onto any feeling because they would pass.  I had to Surrender and let go, allowing human feelings and thoughts to be like a river passing through, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Eventually everything passes through like a brook, like a stream, like a river. It all empties into a vast ocean where we can no longer find the thoughts that were once attached.  Grief is like this. It is stormy. It is quiet. It is torrential. It comes in drips or sometimes freezes until it has to eventually thaw. 

I know deep inside my life will never be the same. I will have to become larger than the feeling of devastation.  In the meantime, I allow myself to be sloppy with grief.  I allow it to wash over me or to stand still until I catch up with it.  I allow myself to be in a fog or to glide like a cloud with no mind. I allow myself to scream his name, calling to bring back what I cannot.  Grief is messy. It pushes and pulls us until we eventually come up for air and find Acceptance. 

Don't suppress it.  Don't pretend to be on a spiritual path that is only positive and does not allow sorrow.  Don't try to force yourself into just feeling thankful for the time you were blessed by your Loved One.  Being human means we have many feelings.  It is important not to get stuck in the muck and mire.  Have those feelings, but don't hold on to any one of them.  Let them come and go.  They will visit again; leave the door open. 

Forgiveness

There are many books, blogs, articles, guided meditations, etc. on the topic of Forgiveness.  Indeed, it is an important part of being human and living on this Earth.  How can we exist in a peaceful world without forgiveness?  It is impossible.  Maybe that is the reason there is so much unrest in the world on both micro and macro levels.  The idea of forgiveness is merely a concept.  It is not taught on a deep level at an early age.

When someone does something to us that hurts us deeply, should we forgive that person or their actions?  Why is this even a question?   Everyone will have an opinion on this.  They will tell you their personal experiences with forgiveness or they will vent and complain with a look in their eyes of unfinished business.   Of course, my answer to the question of "should we forgive someone or their actions?" is quite different.  My answer in an emphatic:  NO.  I will not Forgive them!!  

Why will I not forgive one who has hurt me?  Because it is not them I need to FORGIVE; it is my own self that needs that.   I believe in The Mystical Law of Cause and Effect (Nam Myoho Renge Kyo).   This states that for every action or intention or thought or feeling, there is an effect created.  Actions, intentions, thoughts and feelings are simply energy.  Energy creates a chain reaction. It is not stagnant; it is moving.  It affects other parts of the whole which is why everything is connected all of the time.   We are all one simply because energy is in movement and creates reactions, causes, and effects that affect the whole.

I take responsibility for the fact that whatever I am experiencing is because of myself.  Because of my thoughts, my feelings, my vibration, my energy, my essence, and/or my reactions to things, something happens in my life.  I may like it or dislike it; seldom is it possible to be neutral.  I am the creator of those happenings.  Why should I ever forgive anyone when I was the creator of a circumstance?

You might think that you know the true story and are justified to blame your life situation on someone else.  But, that contradicts the Law of Cause of Effect.  The main ingredient that is missing in many people's views is what happened in the past.  We don't know what we might have done in past lives to the people who are in our lives now.  How can I blame someone and then have to go through the process of forgiving them if I might have killed them in a past life?

I realized that what I have done to the people who have upset me in this lifetime is probably far, far worse than what they have done in this one.  I have no proof or concrete knowledge of what I might have done in a past life, but I feel that it is the reason I am experiencing what I experience.  The way to change my experiences in life is to Forgive myself.

I have a Higher Power in my life.  Sometimes I call that Higher Power Source Energy or God or All That Is, or The Force, or The Universe, or Love Energy, etc.   In my perspective, it is an inexplicable energy that is unseen yet has Power and is, ultimately, Beneficial and Benevolent.  It seeks to Expand. We are connected as one and our Expansion is part of the Whole that expands everyday to become better and better, more wiser, more loving. I feel that my Higher Power loves me as I am.  In this case my Higher Power has already accepted me as I am, so there is no need to even be forgiven. But, I needed to say that I was Forgiven by God in order to help me to Forgive myself. I imagined myself to be a soldier that was commissioned to kill a neighboring tribe by the government that wanted them eradicated.  I imagined that I was Forgiven by All That Is which helped me to Forgive myself for killing in combat.  I didn't know what I was really doing. I didn't know that Peace could be attained by any other way besides War.  In forgiving myself for an imagined past life, it helped me to see why I might have created people in this life that wanted revenge.  If I had stole all of someone's money in an imagined past life, I no longer had to forgive them for taking $20 from my wallet.  I had done far worse to them in a past life than they have done in this life.

I believe that everyone's common purpose is to expand to become more Whole, more Loving.  In this way, we are all linked, all of the time.   We just don't always all expand toward good in the same lifetime. It might take someone until the next lifetime to be able to be more loving.  Forgiving ourselves for what we might have done in past lives is crucial, in my opinion, to help us expand.  If we have hatred and rage against someone and want to kill them with our bare hands because they have killed or harmed our child, that rage can damn up our whole energy, our whole life.  It can cause us illness and ruin our entire lives.  But, if we understand on a deeper level that we might have murdered their whole family in a past life, then we are experiencing a karmic pay back.  We are experiencing the Law of cause and effect.  Sometimes there is instant karma and sometimes it happens in the future.  That is why we really have to watch our thoughts towards others: it will eventually bite us in the ass somehow if we are not kind.  Maybe everybody is really doing the best that they can do on the level they are on. We cannot fault them for not being on a Higher Level.  They are just not there yet.  They don't know what they are doing.

Forgiving ourselves for what we might have done in past lives that might have caused some of our experiences in this one helps us to make Peace with the way things are.  We don't have to fight against someone if we image a past where we might have been less evolved than we are now.

After we Forgive ourselves, we no longer have damned up energy against others or the world. We no longer hold resentment, anguish, rage, hatred, unrest, etc. in our cells.  We let it all go and Accept that we are burning Karma if something happens that is not to our liking.  We can pick ourselves up and change our situation once we Forgive ourselves for the unknown past.  But, if we continue to hold grudges and bad feelings, we might move to another location to try to flee, but we will soon experience something similar.  We cannot run away from Karma, but the sooner we Accept and Forgive ourselves for past mistakes in this life and in past lives, then we can love ourselves as Source Energy loves us.  We can start over to Receive Abundance and So Much Good In Order to Share. Once we totally Forgive our entire past, this life and past lives, we can live from a place of Sharing Good with others and living in order to Serve from a place of Joy.

I heard this song many years ago.  After this realization about Forgiveness, it popped back into my head again. Enjoy:   https://youtu.be/q3JjlkfX5Gk

Group Dealings: How to Keep our Cool in a Hot Pot of People

It is easy to lose our cool when we are with people who all have different ideas, needs, wants and viewpoints.  We can easily get angry and want to escape.  Sometimes escaping is a wise idea.  If the people in the group are toxic with ideas from the Ice Age, it could be a grand idea to move away from the fire.  Why put yourself in agony when you don't need to?  

But, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we must be with others that are pulling and pushing in all different directions.  How to cope?   When we feel angry or disappointed that things are not going our way, it is a good idea to pause and breathe and re-think our motives.   If we are upset, it is because we are choosing to be upset. We are choosing to see something from only our point of view.  This might be a perfect time for learning lessons.  When there is a glitch in the system, it will eventually come to the surface to be looked at and either fixed or discarded.

When you find yourself in a situation that brings your blood to a boil because of numerous people in a hot pot of conflicting desires and views, pretend for a moment that there is no one outside of yourself.  Your feelings of discomfort are coming to the surface for you to learn something about yourself.  Introspection can be a very difficult thing to do.  Most people are not self-aware.  Most people do not want to improve themselves.  Most people are not capable of admitting that they have shortcomings or places within that could be brought to the light for insightful self-study.  

But, if you are willing to expand, then pretend that your feelings are not actually caused by another. Own your own feelings.  If you are a planner and organizer, for example, and your group cannot participate and interact to come to any consensus, then you might find yourself feeling quite upset. Take that feeling inward; take it home to yourself.   Realize that your feelings are your own and they are a reaction to something that is outside of yourself.  There will always be situations that do not go as you planned.  There will always be someone that has another direction to go that might be completely opposite of your intended harmony.  Relax.  This is normal.  There is no need to fret.  There is a great lesson to learn here.  It is the lesson of allowing something to be as it is without trying to change it.   There are times when we cannot influence another for our own purposes.  We have to just see that something we planned or desired is not being met by others.   If we resist the fact that everyone has their own agenda then we can cause ourselves much harm.  If we expect to get another to yield to our ideas then we can be creating much unnecessary pain for ourselves.  

As we pause to take a breath, we can see that in the bigger scheme of things, the issue at hand is really not that big of a deal.  But, the grand lesson that is presented by the problem is a big gift.   This discomfort becomes an opportunity for great growth:  we get to let go of being in control and having things go our own way.  Hallelujah!  What a great lesson to learn.  When we are dealing with others, going with the flow can be quite a necessary step to  harmony.  

True, sometimes we may need to step forward and pave the way.  But there is wisdom in knowing when to step forward and when to allow other people's steps to walk where they may.  If we come from a place of Intending Harmony for All, then we can use our wisdom instead of our egos that might be used to performing in certain patterns that may no longer work.

When we don't expect anything from others, but expect from ourselves to give what is loving, then how can we lose?   When we come from a place of respecting another and allowing them to have different desires than we do,  then we are on our way to a more harmonious lifestyle.  We free ourselves by allowing another to be free.  

This allows us to not have to constantly try to change another to suit our own selves.  This does not mean we ignore our feelings and compromise our morals and ethics, it just means we let go of the need to be right and to be in control of another or a situation. We allow the flow of the energy to have its own voice.   We don't fight the current, but learn to go with the flow.  We intend for harmony for all and get out of the way.   Intending is strong.  We don't have to push the river.  It has it's own integrity.  There is a Divine Flow to a moment. We don't have to create what that is at every turn.  We can live by allowing the flow to take us where we need to go. We can Trust that if others have another idea or plan, we can join their boat, wait for a moment for them to join ours, or get another boat to accommodate another wind pattern.      

On Relationships #4

Communication is Important. It is not only Important, it is the basis for all relating.  We communicate even when we don't realize it.  We communicate with our bodies, we communicate in silence, we communicate with animals that don't speak our human language.  We communicate.  Silence is a huge communicator.  Silence can  speak louder than words. It can mean many things.

When people are afraid to communicate or do not know how and decide to remain silent, their silence communicates for them.  They may not realize that their silence can mean things that they might not have intended.   They might have so many feelings and be bottled up and in emotional pain.  They may think about speaking to the other person each moment of each day, but their own blocks can cause them to plaster their mouth shut for fear of saying the wrong thing, for fear of not being able to speak the language of their heart, for fear of not being able to form coherent sentences while in their emotional stupor.  But, in actuality, when they choose to be silent, they may be hurting another more than they ever thought possible.

Silence can be misinterpreted in so many ways.  If someone is silent, the other person can interpret that as the other person not caring about them.  This is very loud.  They may feel ignored and disregarded.  They may feel that the other person is cold and  has no love for them.  This may or may not be true.  It could be that the one not speaking has their feelings wrapped around their tongue and are too much in anguish to let out any sounds.  But, their inability to communicate can build  huge walls, or even a huge walled city around them.  Those walls can be interpreted as walls of steal that do not let any energy in or out.  Then there is no open window, no screen to allow back in even the smallest trace of love.    Silence, in this way, can be damaging.  If one is silent for too long, the message of coldness and disregard can destroy even the best relationships.

However, sometimes silence is necessary.  A short amount of silence can save a relationship. If one is really angry and upset and they take moments of silence to breathe out their negative energy, to run or walk around the block to move the energy out of their bodies, then this type of silence is medicine. But, if it goes on for days or longer, it can turn to solid walls, even if that is not their intention.  

It is advantageous to learn about communication and how silence could be interpreted.  Then we do not just learn to communicate, we learn about communication, what it is, what things could possibly mean and how to understand how we affect and relate to others based on our ways of communication or lack thereof.    Everything is in relationship to another, thing, person, place, concept.  Everything is relating.  The floor relates to the door that moves over it.  The carpet relates to the floor beneath it, the glance of an animal relates to the person who receives the glance.  Everything is related and is in relationship.   Knowing this sheds light on the need to understand the nuances of communication.  We need to know when silence is just a lack of communication or whether it is on purpose to communicate loads of information.  Silence speaks louder than words when it is intended for that purpose.

Sometimes someone can say "I love you" louder by looking one in the eyes in silence than in rambling a very long romantic poem that takes until tomorrow to complete.   Know yourself. Know how your communication or lack thereof, affects another.  Know when to be silent and when your silence can be the dagger that ends the story.  Understand that people are in relationship with you no matter who they are; how you communicate to them tells loads about you.   You cannot undo a word. Once spoken, you have conveyed to another a lot of information about your current state, about who you are and how you manage stress.  You can also not undo silence if you let it go unchecked for too long.  Silence speaks louder than words.