On Relationships #1

We put a huge amount of energy, concern, obsession, money, time, and focus on obtaining or maintaining intimate, love relationships.  There is a huge industry on the internet and in book stores that consume people's money proclaiming to help them attract a love relationship.  They convince people that with this love relationship, all will be transformed in their life.  That may be true, but it is only true if one does the needed work to get there.  "There" refers to the place of peace and joy that people are promised once they attract and attain this love relationship, the one that is their destiny, or so they are told.  However, getting to a place to attract such a perfect relationship is an inside job.  It is not about what we do or don't do to attract and keep a mate, it is about how we are being.  If we think we need a mate to feel loved, to feel complete, to feel happy, then we are placing a hug responsibility onto someone else.  No one can deliver happiness to us, we must be happiness ourselves.   Our life journey is about our own development; it is not about improving ourselves in order to have a good or perfect love relationship.  

We must first cultivate an understanding about our own life.  We are here to learn and develop self-love.  We must be aware about that process and be introspective. We must be able to look at ourselves in a kind way and cultivate the necessary soil towards more and more self-love.  What is self-love?  Self-love is a road we travel as we get to know who we are and what makes us happy and what we need to develop in ourselves to become healthy on all levels.  We can instantly see the amount of self-love we have by how we treat ourselves.  If we ridicule ourselves for not being enough, we will manifest someone in our life that is just as harsh and treats us with the same disdain.  If there is someone in our lives that is mean and cruel to us,  it shows us how we are treating ourselves. It is a sign post that we need to be gentle and compassionate to ourselves yet push ourselves forward to reach the next growth pinnacle for our own development.  We cannot be too strict or too lazy, too stubborn or too lenient.   Self-love is a huge topic and can be discussed on many levels forever.   We have so many seminars and books in this world on finding a mate and attracting love, but not as much on self-love.  Yet, without self-love, a good relationship with another cannot last.   It is a shame that most schools don't have a mandatory class on self-love.  It is to everyone's advantage to contemplate this topic and shed awareness on its importance and to discuss this in groups and classroom settings.   People who have self-love have high self-esteem. Those people make better citizens and don't have the need to commit crimes or hurt themselves or others.   Clearly, the way to a better world is to delve deep into self-love.

Think about this deeply.  My next blog entree will be about shopping for a mate.  Although it seems to be about looking for love on the outside, it is really about cultivating more self-love.  

From Victim to Victory

 There is an illness on this planet that is silent and yet it is loud in its silence.   It is called victimhood.   I extend being a victim to mean anything that we  hold onto that exists outside of ourselves that we use to keep from moving forward in life and getting internally strong.   It can be just about anything.  It can be another person, circumstance, thing, situation, illness.  It can even be our own selves; our attitudes of perfectionism or feeling of not being enough, etc.  It can be anything or anyone.  Many times, we may not even realize we are being a victim to something/someone.  It can be a silent killer, zapping our energy from being the dynamic truth of who we really are.   Perhaps most people exhibit victim behavior, but because we have limited its meaning, we may not notice it as a detriment.  Once we see and take responsibility for victim behavior, we can change.  We can free ourselves from blocked energy and embrace life instead. 

Animals, especially those on factory farms of agribusiness, also exhibit victim behavior.  They have victim karma.  They want freedom, they want to be happy, just like all of us, but they are victimized by human greed and ignorance.  Perhaps factory farm animals suffer more than any of us.  What can we do when we feel for these animals but don’t know how to invoke change?  We can look at our own selves.  There is a direct correlation between the victim thinking/feeling/behaving of humans and animals that suffer.  We are all connected.  We are all part of a whole.  No one is really separate in this world, even though it may appear that way.  We are as interconnected as the slices of an orange, touching each other in a sphere.  Our world is part of the whole world.  Our lives are affected by what happens in the whole.  All energy is continuous and we are a part of this continuum.   Therefore, animals that suffer are directly related to our own suffering.  

A powerful way to heal is to look within ourselves and remove what no longer serves us or the greater good.  If we look closely, we may find all sorts of victim behavior.  We might blame anything and everything for the reason we are not where we want to be or who we want to be.  We may also be in denial of this behavior.  We may feel like we are not enough and so use fear as an excuse to not break out of our limitations to move forward.   We may be perfectionists that are always preparing ourselves to get ready as a way to procrastinate.  We may feel we have to constantly improve before we make a move.   Or, we may compare ourselves to others and never take that first step forward.   They are a myriad of ways that we use being victim to stop ourselves from fully living.   

When we are willing to really look at ourselves truthfully, we can see that most of us are victim to something outside of ourselves.   If we hear ourselves complain about anything, that is a sign that victim consciousness runs the show. 

But how do we help animals that are suffering?  When we look deeply at our own victim behavior and do something to change that allows us to feel better about our lives, then we help animals.  Since we are all connected, what we do to heal ourselves is reflected in the whole world.  One less victim, one more healed, whole, happy person makes a difference for all of us. 

We need to see that if we are allowing external phenomena to affect us negatively, then we are not being part of the solution for world peace.   Each contributes to the whole.  When we are actively, consciously, allowing ourselves to flourish by healing our victim parts, we affect everything and everyone.  

Instead of feeling hopeless and helpless about the animals in slaughterhouses and factory farms living a horrible fate, we can diligently do all we can do to heal our own selves.   We have to be brave to be able to look honestly at how we are being and what we are doing that does not contribute to, not only our own happiness and wellness, but that of the entire world as well.

Inner strength means that we have taken the journey inward to become part of the solution and are no longer contributing to the dense negativity of the planet.   If we live in this manner, cleaning what does not serve a higher way of being, then we are actively contributing to the healing of the entire universe.  We are, inadvertently, helping the animals that are victims by releasing our own victimhood.  We are moving from victim to Victory.  We do this for ourselves, we do this for others and we do this for the animals. 

When enough of us remove the victim way of being and free ourselves from being less than our true magnificence, we evoke a change for all.  I implore you to look deeply within, to remove and clean out what no longer serves and to emerge as a conscious, healed being that is part of the solution.  When you commit to this endeavor, you pave the way for others, including animals, to follow.  We owe this to ourselves, we owe it to others we share this planet with and we owe it to the animals that need our strength and power to emerge shiny and new into a world of love and light.  Looking at the face of an animal in a slaughterhouse is enough reason to begin this inward healing journey now.   Become a part of the solution, heal thyself.    

Letting Go of Being Victim

Today was a powerful day.  It started with a terrible argument on Facebook.  I meant well, but people were swearing at me.  My hands were shaking with adrenaline.  I had stumbled upon something huge for myself.  I had only one choice, I had to look at the situation and see what I could gain from it.  I received more than I thought possible from just a two-dimensional self-expression on social media. 

I had to look closely.  I was writing about the concept of victim.  People thought I was blaming victims for a sexual assault incident.  I simply wanted to empower them.  I would not do a woman a disservice by seeing her as a victim.  I choose to see women as powerful and hope to eradicate the word victim from the vocabulary and burn it away from the cells and the aura.   I choose to see animals as that way as well.  The ones in the slaughterhouses that await a terrible fate can change their karma of victimhood.  I speak to the farm animals, too, that I would like to empower so that they transform to being strong, confident, happy animals that have transitioned away from victimhood and a karma of victimization. 

I had to look closely.  There was a gift being given to me with this huge social media flare up.  I was able to receive from the universe the accurate perception of my own life.  I, too, was a victim, but I saw that it was a stance that I chose to have.  I didn’t know there was any other position to take.  I didn’t even know I was being a victim in my own life.  Then I saw it; my whole life had been riddled with victimization.  The biggest culprit was my own biochemistry.  I had an allergic reaction to one of my own bio-chemicals and it had caused me repeated suicidal desires.  Only, I was not allowed to die.  There was no suicide escape tickets left for me to use; I had already used them up in previous lives.  My only choice was through.  I had to live this life through to the end.  I counted the years left to when I thought I would die.   This took up half of my life, the other half was fine. 

Because of this heated social media conversation, I realized that the very strength that I was preaching for these women to have was the strength that I needed, to be a rock inside.  I needed to be stronger than the bio-chemical allergy, I needed to be stronger than negative thinking , I needed to be stronger than the voices that dissuaded me from pushing forward in many areas of my life.  Finally, I was able to listen to my own advice.  Drop the victim, up the self-esteem, get strong and be the rock I am inside to move the mountains that needed moving in my life. 

I was told many, many years ago by Jerhoam, a teacher entity, channeled by John Oliver, that the prolonged grief that I had sustained undermined my confidence.   In short, the long term grief over the suicide of a Soulmate when I was 24 years old and another suicide of my best friend years later, pushed my self-esteem too low.  I had lost confidence in my manifestation of miracles.  The strength of a rock that I dreamed of to overcome my bio-chemical allergy and my grief needed one thing:  the letting go of victim consciousness.

The Celestine Prophesy, by James Redfield, teaches that one of the roles people often assume in life is the victim in order to get energy.   This is an excerpt taken from http://www.relationshipspecialists.com/media/the-four-control-dramas-from-the-celestine-prophecy/  All humans, because of their upbringing, tend toward one of the four “control dramas”: intimidators steal energy from others by threat. Interrogators steal it by judging and questioning. Aloof people attract attention (and energy) to themselves by acting reserved or withdrawing. And poor me’s make us feel guilty and responsible for them.

The above description from James Redfield’s book, The Celestine Prophecy, defines four ways that people are in relationship with one another. All are attempts to control another’s behavior.

People usually hold onto their control dramas for dear life for two reasons:  they are not aware of what stance they are taking in their lives and that it is the familiar way of being that is ingrained deep into them in order to get energy.

If someone were to tell me that my experiences of suffering from the allergic reactions to one of my bio-chemicals was because of me playing victim, I would have fought with them.  Above all, I wanted to keep this illness.  I wanted to fight for dear life to keep this victim stance.  It was all I knew.  On some level, I was getting something out of being that way.  It was also an excuse to stay small.  If I could stay small, I wouldn’t have to be my true self.  On some level that felt comfortable.  Being my true self did not; it posed a risk.  I would have to break out of my shell of comfort and become more.  It was easier to stay small in the victim stance than to see that it was my choice to be in that stance in order to hide my true self.   

After severe praying about another issue, I went on facebook and received this realization from my own recommendations to get strong instead of being a victim.  It was an answer to my prayer; not the answer I hoped to get, but an immensely more important one.

The women who were victims in this particular issue reviewed on social media, helped me to see my own situation.    I felt overwhelmed by life’s conditions and, for many years, could not get above water.  By being able to admit that I created the role of victim in my own life, I now had access to the power key.  I could now take much needed action and shrug off the victim stance.  I was saved by my own recommendations and pushed to recognize my own victim role playing by those that dug their feet deep into their own and savagely protected it by hurling words of criticism against my attempts to show them their behavior and convince them of their own inner strength.  All that empowerment, though pointed to them and rejected, was showered upon myself.    

I was able to see that I was the one responsible for playing victim to, not only my own bio-chemicals, but to other people, circumstances, societal conditioning, etc.  I was able to take ownership of how I was being and I saw the path to correct it.   All of this happened for me because of a challenging experience on social media.

Many years ago, a teacher of mine who counseled me on the suicide of my soulmate who suffered greatly from one adult-onset bipolar episode, told me that things do not happen to you, they happen for you.   He was urging me to remove the victim stance.  At that time, I couldn’t digest that very deeply; now I understand.     

More Important than a Positive Mind

 There are so many books, articles, blogs, lectures, seminars, and classes on positive thinking.   Good thoughts and uplifting affirmations permeate the self-help world in the written, audio-visual, and virtual markets.   Everyone seems to have heard of this concept and many are focusing on it to help themselves be better people and lead healthier lives.   However, there is something more important than a healthy, uplifted mind.   I wrote the following words after asking my Higher Power for guidance.  I am typing it word for word, as I "received it."  

What's in my mind?

It parallels my heart.

What's in my heart?

It’s pure and light and sings and feels content

and full and happy.

My mind reflects my heart.

My heart is happy to see you.

Happy to give Service to this land.

Happy to contribute.

Happy.

My mind parallels my heart.

My mind is clear and calm,

Peaceful and knows itself.

It is brilliant and shines,

helpful and expansive, creative and humorous,

compassionate.

My heart is all of this and my mind only follows.  

My compassion extends beyond you, beyond me

It pushes me

to be a visionary

as I “see” a world

in my mind’s eye

that is beyond what is here now.

It is kind and comfortable,

compassionate and sharing.

I have love in my heart

and now my mind has love, too.

It parallels my heart.

I can know my heart

by feeling my mind,

it always parallels my heart.

We spend so much time healing the mind

But it is only a reflection of the heart.

It is the heart that must be healed.

The heart must sing.

Singing heart.

Happy heart.

Light heart.

Peaceful heart.

Content heart.

Satisfied, Full heart.

Loving heart.

This is what I “received” when I asked for wisdom.  This is truth and must be known by the masses, especially those that aim to steer the mind in the right direction, but forget to mind their heart.    What’s deep inside of us that allows us to feel is our navigation center.  Our mind simply follows the direction given by this center.   It is time now to focus and re-focus on the heart.  It must be recalibrated to a higher frequency that feels love continuously.  Extend this to all sentient and non-sentient beings.  The healing of the planet depends upon this.    

I give Insightful Guidance over the phone.  Contact me from my website www.EmpireOfTheSunspirit.com    

Starting a More Raw Diet

I am on a raw food cleanse.  I am not doing 100% raw as I have just incorporated cooked lentils and might steal a nut that is roasted when visiting people, but mostly I am eating raw and organic when available.  When I started, I wouldn’t have called it a cleanse, I would have called it a mostly raw diet, but as I get into it, I realize more and more that I am cleansing. I am using the word “cleansing” but it is the same as detoxing.

This is my sixth time eating a raw food diet. (I will write about why I got off of it the other times in another blog entrée)  I hope it is my last and that I will stay eating this clean, but one never knows the future.   I could find myself in an ashram in India for the rest of my life and in that case I would not be eating raw.  This time I started with a vegan diet.  I have been a strict vegan for a number of years now.  It made eating mostly raw much easier for me.  It is also easier for me since I am allowing myself cooked beans, legumes, olives and the occasional whatever that may arise that I might feel I need to eat.  Being less strict is better for me.  I am also allowing myself to have vegan, plant-based protein drinks.   It is interesting to even use the word “allowing.” Who am I talking to when I say this?  Is there a raw food diet deity that is constantly looking over me to give me approval or disapproval?  Maybe there had been a voice in my head that did this with everything, but I am now able to hear it. 

That is precisely why I am writing this now.  I want to share with others what I am experiencing.  I am able to “hear” more than I was before.  My level of clarity is greater.  I haven’t even been on the diet for that long and already I have noticed that my mind is more able to discern with clarity to a greater degree than when I was eating cooked vegan food.   What I am noticing more than anything that I really want to share is the fact that my tolerance level has changed.   Since I am not eating food to suppress my feelings, I am more clear about parts of my life that I believe need to change.  I can no longer just eat a piece of chocolate or a bowl of cereal or have a baked potato, etc. to suppress my feelings in order to help me deal with outdated circumstances.  I am not eating anything right now to suppress my feelings.   In this case, things that I just grinned and bared are flashing with bright lights saying this needs to be changed.   Sometimes that change is an attitude change. I might see a circumstance from a higher perspective.  I might change my view toward it in order to resolve undealt with feelings.  Or, I might be able to change a situation with applied action.  I am hearing “one step at a time.”  There is patience with this process.   That is something I am learning, too.  

On a physical level, I am still in the cleansing stage.  I understand that when one eats all raw or mostly raw, cleansing is something one must keep doing periodically, regularly.  I may always be cleansing something, even if it is the physical ramification of a stale thought.  I believe that thoughts produce energies that sometimes need to be cleaned since, if prolonged and negative, they might create a situation on the physical level that is unwanted.  So, detoxing must be done on all levels.  One cannot be cleansing with all or mostly raw food and not pay attention to the thoughts and words of the mental plane. 

It is also really important to clean the colon.  That is the sewer of the body and it needs to be cleaned periodically.  When I started to feel a bit dizzy, I knew I needed to clean my colon.  You cannot just put healthy food into your body and not cleanse the trash can underneath. The trash has to be dumped.    As we progress through life, old thoughts, old food, old behavior patterns need to be cleaned out.    We cannot separate them, they are part of a whole. 

Cleaning the diet is showing me what in my life needs to be cleansed.  I have nothing to suppress something that is not working for me anymore, something that is “no longer growing corn” for me.   I may be able to change some things through action, but some things may not be able to be changed by our own efforts.  If I cannot change it right away, I am able to see my thoughts and respond to them in a more clear way now that my diet is more clean.  If I feel out of sorts, then my mind needs to change first.  Applying action to try to change something without changing the way we feel first usually just creates a spinning of the tail as we spin another tale that is not affective.   Change the mind to positive before tackling an outer change.  When we start to eat a clean vegan diet, the need to change appears before our eyes.  

Relationship Guru #16

Relationship Guru # 15