On Relationships #1

We put a huge amount of energy, concern, obsession, money, time, and focus on obtaining or maintaining intimate, love relationships.  There is a huge industry on the internet and in book stores that consume people's money proclaiming to help them attract a love relationship.  They convince people that with this love relationship, all will be transformed in their life.  That may be true, but it is only true if one does the needed work to get there.  "There" refers to the place of peace and joy that people are promised once they attract and attain this love relationship, the one that is their destiny, or so they are told.  However, getting to a place to attract such a perfect relationship is an inside job.  It is not about what we do or don't do to attract and keep a mate, it is about how we are being.  If we think we need a mate to feel loved, to feel complete, to feel happy, then we are placing a hug responsibility onto someone else.  No one can deliver happiness to us, we must be happiness ourselves.   Our life journey is about our own development; it is not about improving ourselves in order to have a good or perfect love relationship.  

We must first cultivate an understanding about our own life.  We are here to learn and develop self-love.  We must be aware about that process and be introspective. We must be able to look at ourselves in a kind way and cultivate the necessary soil towards more and more self-love.  What is self-love?  Self-love is a road we travel as we get to know who we are and what makes us happy and what we need to develop in ourselves to become healthy on all levels.  We can instantly see the amount of self-love we have by how we treat ourselves.  If we ridicule ourselves for not being enough, we will manifest someone in our life that is just as harsh and treats us with the same disdain.  If there is someone in our lives that is mean and cruel to us,  it shows us how we are treating ourselves. It is a sign post that we need to be gentle and compassionate to ourselves yet push ourselves forward to reach the next growth pinnacle for our own development.  We cannot be too strict or too lazy, too stubborn or too lenient.   Self-love is a huge topic and can be discussed on many levels forever.   We have so many seminars and books in this world on finding a mate and attracting love, but not as much on self-love.  Yet, without self-love, a good relationship with another cannot last.   It is a shame that most schools don't have a mandatory class on self-love.  It is to everyone's advantage to contemplate this topic and shed awareness on its importance and to discuss this in groups and classroom settings.   People who have self-love have high self-esteem. Those people make better citizens and don't have the need to commit crimes or hurt themselves or others.   Clearly, the way to a better world is to delve deep into self-love.

Think about this deeply.  My next blog entree will be about shopping for a mate.  Although it seems to be about looking for love on the outside, it is really about cultivating more self-love.