Self-love means that you no longer spend huge amounts of time trying to attract another to love you. So many people waste so much time and money on the internet, going to seminars, buying books and end up where they started: as single as the moon in the sky, looking at the sun but never able to get close enough to touch that ball of light. Balls of fire aside, they get burned out of shopping for mates and in the end, nothing about them has changed save for the fact that they are now more disappointed than ever. This pushes the likelihood of a mate dropping out the sky almost close to zero. What to do?
In comes the idea of shopping for a mate. Yes, you heard it, let's go shopping! This is not the same type of shopping as going to the human flesh market, window shopping, or shopping for clothes to attract another. This shopping does not involve spending a dime, although nowadays spending a dime is nearly impossible: nothing on earth costs a dime anymore unless it is a single piece of bubble gum from a gumball machine. Blowing bubbles is a good idea! Have fun with this kind of shopping, it is meant to bring more joy into your life. Here it is in a pecan shell: when you find a person you are attracted to, look carefully and examine why. Why are you hung up on hanging out with this person? Why are you hooked on hooking up with them? Why are they the icing, the ice cream, the whipped cream, the vegan burger, the fries and the whole enchalada? In short, what about them has them in your central idea center? What about them is taking up so much of your time? This is where we insert shopping. Let's go shopping. They are your shopping muse. What about them has you so enthralled? Now let's shop for what they have and add that to yourself.
Are they strong? Are they able to bench press their baby calf? If you could lift a little sweet calf and rescue it from a veal slaughterhouse you would be dripping with tons of excess self-love. Okay so let's add physical strength to your shopping list. Now let's apply action. Start lifting weights. What if they are strong on the inside and are able to confront any challenge with bravery and courage. Let's add that to our shopping list. Let's become emotionally and mentally as strong as a dragon (when was the last time you met a dragon - perhaps you need to have more imagination to see yourself as really that strong, physically, mentally and emotionally.) Emotional strength, by the way, does not equate with suppressed and hardened faces unable to show any sign of weakness. It means emotional maturity, being able to be vulnerable, knowing when to ask for help, when to share and when to take a walk or run in silence ---or when to lift weights until you sweat out your inner story that just might be a tale that needs to find its end.
Let's continue shopping....what if that person you obsess about is like the sun and everyone runs circles around them. What about that person is magnetic? Perhaps they are helpful and kind. Look inside - this is a different kind of shopping experience. Do you have those qualities within you or are you afraid to shine your light? Are you mean when you want to be kind? Are you cold when you want to be warm? Do you go the extra mile for someone or just give them your leftovers?
Be the person you would like to be. The person you are attracted to is showing you what type of shopping you need to do and what types of qualities or attributes you need to add to your cart. Fill this cart with what you desire to build within your own self. This is what people do who are full of self-love. They don't grab merchandise from other people's carts and steal their energy, they build their own cart and put in it just what they need, just what their heart has been nudging them to add to themselves.
This is not fix-it shopping. We are not talking about fixing ourselves into oblivion and looking for ways to improve so that we can attract a mate. No! We are shopping for what it is that we find so alluring and putting that into our own selves. Then we are in our own center. We become what we are looking for. Then we are attractive and the right person automatically is drawn to us.
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